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Friday Fun.


A Little Friday Fun..,
Specially for people from Norn Iron.

BBC Radio Ulster’s Wall to Wall Coverage of the Papal Election in Full.

Good Morning Ulster:
* We ask the question. when will the new Pope condemn fleg protests as ‘Sectarian Illegal Marches’?
* Regular commentator Malachy Collins welcomes the news that the new Pope is a Catholic, given the level of historic discrimination against Catholics in that post.
* The new Pope uses public transport. What implications has this for Belfast’s bus lanes. A spokesman from Translink comments.
* DUP denies that the new Pope has been invited to open the IRA/Hunger Strikers shrine/peace centre at the Maze, and a party spokesman responded, ‘Never, never, neve… Oh we’ve done that before, haven’t we?’

Thought for the Day:
Bishop Bonkers welcomes the election of the new Pope and notes that the new Pope believes in prayer, and ponders why, as many leading Protestant prelates do not actually believe in God, never mind prayer.

The Nolan Show:
The BIGGEST Pope coverage in the country!
Nolan learns that the new Pope has only one lung, and questions Health Service practice in the treatment of Popes. William, a taxi driver from East Belfast demands instant treatment for the new Pope on the NHS at Dundonald Hospital, noting that if the new Pope had been an immigrant, here to take our jobs and benefits, he would have been given an iron lung years ago.
In a second feature, we ask when will the new Pope visit Belfast, and will his popemobile be allowed to use the bus lanes? A spokesman from Translink comments.

Talk Back:
Wendy is appalled that the new Pope is a man, and has a panel of leading feminists to discuss whether the new Pope should make sure that the rules of succession are changed in line with modern culture, so that should the new Pope have a daughter, then she will inherit the papal throne, and not his second-born son. A spokesman from Translink comments. (Also broadcast on Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour)
In a separate segment, a panel of environmentalists from GreenPeace and the Green Party join Wendy to discuss the environmental damage caused by the release of papal smoke into the air around Rome and note that the carbon released was equivalent to the exhaust emissions of a Translink Bus over a hundred yards. A spokesman for Translink declined to comment.

Sunday Sequence:
The new Pope is unmarried, and speculation has therefore arisen that he could be a member of the Gay community, and supports gay marriage.
In our second discussion of the morning, we note that the new Pope believes that Las Malvinas Islas are a break off from the South American mainland, and one therefore concludes that he possibly believes in the Big Bang Theory. Could he also be an evolutionist? A panel of experts, including a spokesman from Translink, tease out the theological improvements this could cause within Catholicism.
Finally, why the new Pope never became a Presbyterian. (Warning… This feature contains extracts from actual Presbyterian services. Parents are warned that if small children are listening it might be best to turn down the volume or take them out of the room, in case they are traumatised.)

From → Perspectives

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