Love and Marriage

Text: Ephesians 5:21-22 21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Before we can examine the text in detail, we need to note that when Paul speaks about a Christian home-life, he is referring to marriage, – to a WIFE, and to a HUSBAND of that wife. One man, and one woman, in a married relationship. So, because of modern recent developments we must ask what, in biblical terms, before God, is MARRIAGE?

1 The Basis of Marriage. 

Genesis 2:18-23 

Now, the first thing that we must learn about marriage is that it is NOT a human invention or a government edict. God instituted marriage at creation. We refer to it as a ‘creation ordinance’. The other creation ordinance is the Sabbath Day. So before there was a state, a school a church, there was marriage.   

• One man – one woman. God made Adam and Eve. One man and one woman. Genesis 2:23  He could well have created several women, or another man.  But he didn’t.  He created a wife for Adam, someone who is like him, but different from him.  Both of them were made in the image of God.  Genesis 1:27  
• To the exclusion of all others. Adam had one wife, and Eve had one husband.  Polygamy was first recorded among ungodly in Gen 4:16-19. It was the result of the fall. Gen 6:5. But didn’t some OT heroes have more than one wife?  Jesus comments on this in Matthew 19. where he says in verse 8 “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  Deviation from monogamy, even by the OT heroes was falling short of God’s perfection. 

So, God’s unchanged standard is lifelong monogamous marriage, between a man and a woman, to the exclusion of all others, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, ‘till death do us part. Because God invented marriage – no human or human institution, no church or parliament has the right to change it.  

2 The Purpose of Marriage. 

So what is the purpose of marriage?  There are several and all of them are of equal weight and importance:-

• Companionship and Consummation.
  • To alleviate loneliness.  For companionship!  Genesis 2:18  Nothing has changed.  it is not good for anyone to alone all throughout life.  A man needs a woman!  
  • To be the only framework for sexual fulfilment. 1 Corinthians 7: 2-5 Marriage is our authorisation to enjoy physical pleasure! Indeed for a marriage to be valid it must be consummated. Even our private lives, the deepest privacy of all, that of the bedroom, must be lived firstly, to glorify God. 
• Procreation. Genesis 1:28  In the 70’s there was a belief among some liberal ‘Christians’ that marriage is little more than a form of companionship and sexual fulfilment. Of course there will be those who cannot have children for various reasons. –  But what of those who sacrifice the joy of parenthood for their convenience, or their career or their downright selfishness?  The prophet Malachi, speaking about the permanence of marriage touches on this, Malachi 2:15 …He seeks godly offspring. God’s will for believers is to bear and raise children, who will be brought to faith in Christ. READ.So our children are precious – they are the heirs of the promise of salvation!
• Healthiness.  SIDs have always been present and the government thinks the answer is to teach ‘safe sex’ to children. It’s not the answer – it’s just covering up the symptoms. The answer is to obey God’s plan, to promote Christian marriage, and total abstinence from any sexual activity outside marriage. But the health benefits of marriage extend well beyond avoiding STDs.  Marriage is God’s plan, God’s will for human flourishing.

So, the purposes of marriage are clearly laid out in the Bible.  Marriage is to enable us to live in a companionable, loving, sexually embracing relationship, wherein children are born, and nurtured, and the health and well being of all are protected.

3 The Boundaries of Marriage. 

The bible sets boundaries for marriage. 

• For the Whole of Mankind. Because marriage is an ordinance of God, given at creation, it is for everyone in the whole world.  This is real marriage equality.  Every man has the right to marry a woman, and every woman has the right to marry a man.  In that we are all equal!   Both parties to the marriage must WANT to marry each other, never compelled.
• For Christians, the situation is different.  A believer must marry only ’in the Lord’. 1 Corinthians 7:39 There will be restrictions on who a Christian may marry, which are not applicable to unbelievers. 2 Cor 6:14-18  Savoy clarifies this further.  It refers to Papists and Heretics. This is important.  What if a Christian wants to marry someone else who also claims to be a Christian but who is part of a sect or a cult which is heretical?  Even if that person themselves has faith in Christ, – if they refuse to forsake their heretical associations, they will have a deleterious effect on the believer who marries them.  Deuteronomy 7:1-4   

There is much more to learn.  For now, we content ourselves to learn that marriage must be voluntarily entered into, and that for Christians, it must be in accordance with God’s will – ‘in the Lord.’

So we have begun our exploration of Paul’s teaching to the Ephesians on marriage, and we have already learned that Christian, biblical marriage is greatly different from the view of marriage in this secular world.  We must order our opinions according to the Bible, not be influenced by the opinions of the prevailing culture.

© Bob McEvoy June 2024