Was Paul a Misogynist?

Text: Ephesians 5:21- 24

Let’s look at the verse that tells us that wives are to submit to their own husband… What can that mean?  In some religions, particularly in Islam, women are regarded as inferior to men. Greatly inferior. Is that what Paul means here?

1 The General Principle.  Ephesians 5:21-24 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

There is no doubt that what Paul says here will go against the prevailing understanding of marriage, even among Christians. The PC view, and the feminist view is that a strong woman should be her own person, and be submissive to no-one, certainly not to her husband – if she even needs a husband at all. At the very least, husband and wife should be in every sense equal. But Paul twice tells us that women are to ‘submit’ to their husband. In Colossians 3:18, Paul writes Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. He just tells the Christians in Colossi that wives are to submit to their husbands. Nothing more or less. So, is Paul simply a misogynist, as some liberal commentators have suggested? Let’s go further…

2 God’s Divine Pattern and the Church. V23  

Why does Paul introduce this comparison, between the family and the church? Paul here is suggesting that a Christian marriage is a visual aid, a representation (albeit imperfect) of the relationship between Christ and his church, the divinely ordained order of things. READ Colossians 1:18  

• Christ is the HEAD of his church. We have seen this many times. Look back to Ephesians 1: 22  Jesus is the HEAD of his church, and our marriages are to reflect that spiritual reality, so the husband is the head of the wife, in the same manner that Christ is the head of the church, – and we shall find out more in a future examination of the text, just exactly what that means for husbands.
• The Church is the BRIDE of Christ. Right throughout Scripture the church is depicted as the bride of Christ. In Isaiah, God spoke to his people about his bride, Isaiah 62:5  Through the teachings of Christ, in his parables, for example in Matthew 25,  Paul talks in these terms too, not only to the Ephesians, but in other places too, for example, 2 Corinthians 11:2  And of course in Revelation, where in the fullness of time, the bride of Christ is gathered in and we are invited to the great marriage supper of the Lamb. Revelation 19:7-8  Many more references. So the relationship between Christ and his church is like a marriage – and Paul links that with our earthly marriages – which are a pale reflection of that wonderful relationship. 
• The Church is an ORDERED and ORDERLY entity. Just as God has ordained an ‘order’ in heaven, so it is in the church. 1 Corinthians 11:3 And so it is in marriage, this imperfect visual representation of the relationship between Christ and the church.  Incidentally, this is also the reason why we do not have women ministers or elders – because God is the head of Christ and Christ is the head of the man and the man is the head of the woman. READ 1 Timothy 2:12  1 Corinthians 14:34-35  

So Christ’s headship over his church is reflected in the institution of marriage. We’ll see more of this comparison in the rest of the chapter.

3 What is True Submission in Marriage?  22-24 

Now, what will this admission of headship, and the practical outworking of it in our own lives look like?

• It is restricted to one man, only. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,. In society, this text does not require women to be submissive to ALL men, as in Muslim societies.  This principle is applied specifically within marriage. Not to those in dating relationships, or in social or employment contexts. Women are not to give the same level of respect to other men, other women’s husbands, even to their own father – as they give to their husband.  No other male-female relationship carries the same level of expectation that Paul attributes to the husband-wife relationship in this verse. (The same principle applies to man…)

Yet a serious word of caution…  What is being described here is a loving Christian marriage. Obviously anyone in such a relationship must seek protection, and ensure their own safety, for there is nothing here – or anywhere else in the Bible that commands a woman, or her children to remain in the way of physical harm.

• It is practised as ‘unto the Lord.’  as unto the Lord.  This begs two questions…
  • What if he’s not perfect! What if the man you married is not everything you expected him to be, – not a high earner, not a wonderful companion, not very kindhearted and loving? What of he just falls a bit short of your standards? What do you do then? Complain, nag, point out his failings to your friends? Well not in Paul’s writing here, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. You respect him as you would respect Christ. In all that we’ve learned here, I’ve said that our marriages are IMPERFECT representations of the relationship between Christ and the church. Of course he’s not perfect – but still you will love him – just as Christ loved you, when YOU weren’t perfect.
  • Secondly, this relates to my last point, what if he is coercive? A husband might not be abusive, but what if  something he wants to do, and involve his wife in is clearly ungodly, or unclean, or promiscuous?  Then the woman has to put on the brake, to say no, and she has the right to do so – for she is to respect her husband, ONLY in the fear of God, Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. And as ‘unto the Lord.’ In everything, including our marriages, the Lord is first, – God’s will and his law take precedence. 
• It is a qualified command. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. So, with that last comment in mind, why does Paul say that wives are to be subject to their husbands ‘in everything.’ Don’t forget he has already qualified that, with, ‘As the church is subject unto Christ…’ Christ would never coerce his church to do anything wrong, or immoral or ungodly, – he loves his church, loves it so much that he gave his own life for it.  Ephesians 5:25 That’s why we honour and obey him, and it is in that context  ONLY that wives will honour and obey their own husbands.

So, marriage is a representation of the relationship between Christ and the church. The wife is to respect her husband in the Lord – as the church respects her head, the Lord Jesus. But what then of the husband? Is this a one way street? Not at all! In our next study we shall see the analogy, the ‘visual aid’ extended applied to the responsibilities on the husband.

© Bob McEvoy 2024